Runaway

I can see it in your eyes, that you’re gonna run, you’re gonna run I can hear it in the way you speak to me that you’re gonna leave And as you slip away, I will say…As you pack your things, I will sing…

Even if you run away from me, over the mountains through the valleys I will not rest but search east and west to bring you back with me Even if you sail away from across the oceans and the seas, I will move again like the mighty wind and blow you back to me. I’m gonna move again like the mighty wind and blow you back to me.

I have seen this all before it is all too familiar. But you will never see the bottom of my storehouses of love. So as you use the night, to make your flight, no choice that you will make or path you take will change my mind.

Even if one day you decide, you will find somewhere else to hide I will walk your way and call your name and wait for your reply. Even if you make up in your mind, you don’t want be by my side, I will leave behind 99 oh the you’d be mine. I’m gonna leave behind 99 oh the you’d be mine.

Even if you stomp and scream and huff, tell me that I’m not good enough I’ll take every swing and every blow, until you know my love. Even if you beat upon my chest, tell me that you don’t understand, I will love you and teach you to love me again, I’m gonna love you and teach you to love me again.

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Temptation.

No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is.
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

It has been 2 months.

Wow, has it really almost been two months since I last blogged?

I wanted to keep this blog, at least until I finished working in Dubai. But lately I have been sick of my addiction to social media. And have been tempted to just cut off all technology.

But until I move back home, I will keep it.

Anyways, since we last talked, I went to Hawaii, got a tan, had some flights, avoided Ramadan (holy month for muslims) in Dubai by hiding in my apartment. It also is incredibly hot here right now (the song “Summertime Sadness” by Lana Del Rey has a new meaning to me now after spending 3 summers here in the Middle East) — but I have to say, this year doesn’t seem to be as bad as the two previous years. I don’t know if its because my hiding skills are so good or what.

I have 4 more months until I finish my 3 years here and my contract. Life is funny. I spent most of 2014 hating Dubai and some of the negatives to the job,  counting down the days until I could go home. But now that it’s almost here, I wish time wouldn’t move so quickly. I know I will miss this experience, and probably Dubai (a little).

On my last flight I made a list of flights I still hadn’t done so that I could try to get these flights before I quit. But the list was longer than my couple of weeks I have left, and it made me a little panicky. I don’t know why it did, because I know I don’t have to go to every single destination before I quit.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still crazy excited to move back, have a normal life again and be close to family. I miss the feeling of home and living in my country. I miss garage sales and the American accent (I am so tired of accents now! Never thought I’d say that. Hehe ).

I just think I am aware of a chapter ending.

Well, this post has been very personal and maybe a little depressing – so enough of that!

I am about to go on a 5 day trip to Singapore and Brisbane before heading back to Dubai. And then its homeward bound for a good 2 week vacation !

And I leave you with a rare picture of clouds being seen in Dubai (it is usually a sandy haze).

Makes for a pretty sunset picture!

Some words I like right now:

(and unrelated to my living in Dubai post)

“Some of the most life shaping decisions you make in this season [of being twenty-five-ish] will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without.” 

-Shauna Niequist

Willing to Change

❝You must be willing to change. You must be willing to break the deal you made with the devils within. You must be willing to leave the past and not be tempted to rebound when times are tough.

You must be willing to let go of everything and anyone that takes you back to your sins. You must be willing to have hope. You must be willing to have hope that you can change and that you will and that you will be better.

You must believe you are worthy of change and you are worthy of improvement and you are worthy of being the best.

You must be willing to set aside your negative notions about life, about hardships, about people, about things, about yourself. You must be willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself while looking at the world move around you.

Get up and make something of yourself.

JACK BARAKAT

Made New

“I looked across the expanse of my shame, the ocean of disobedience; Christ took my hands and said “This is not for you to see, look to Me.” and I did, and I was made new.”

  T.B. LaBerge

Always Prefer Living

❝ I am happy when I eat fresh fruit, when I burst out laughing, when I discover a new song, when I finish a good book, when I wake up and feel relaxed. I’m glad to have friends, family, a home, food when I’m hungry, hot water when I shower. I love being able to live and see the seasons change, to have gifts at Christmas and at my birthday, to travel sometimes, to have a good education and a great access to culture. I’m flattered when people compliment me, when people smile at me, when people are polite to me. There are so many things that make life so simple and easy and I will always think about them more than all the bad things that will happen to me. I do not have time to be sad every day and ungrateful ; I have every reason in the world to be happy. ❞
A FEW REASONS WHY I’LL ALWAYS PREFER LIVING

What I Should Be Doing

I should be sleeping.

I have my 15 hour operating flight to San Fran tomorrow and I have to get up in 4 hours.

Instead, I am listening to this song over and over again, eating hummus & pita bread, and finding inspirational thoughts like this..

But the plain truth is this: Love is not a matter of getting what you want. The insistence on always having what you want, on always being satisfied, on always being fulfilled, makes love impossible. To love, you have to climb out of the cradle, where everything is ‘getting,’ and grow up to the maturity of giving, without concern for getting anything special in return. Love is not a deal, it is a sacrifice. It is not marketing, it is a form of worship.

Thomas Merton | Love and Living

I like these words.

And who needs sleep anyways.

There’s always coffee, amiright?

Reckless, Raging Confidence

“For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the love of Jesus Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change. When Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened,” He assumed we would grow weary, discouraged, and disheartened along the way. These words are a touching testimony to the genuine humanness of Jesus. He had no romantic notion of the cost of discipleship. He knew that following Him was as unsentimental as duty, as demanding as love.”

  Brennan Manning