Frustrated

Its true. I’m frustrated.

Frustrated with myself @ work. I always want to get more done than I normally do. And then I leave work feeling like a failure.

Wow, I’m such a mope! I can be such a killjoy! And its almost DECEMBER for crying out loud! I need a good slap, and some Christmas music.

Food!! – hold the love please

I work in a restaurant (yes, I’m paid to make desserts all day. Be jealous) and I’m lucky enough to presently be at E.Restaurant in Sac-town. I feel like I can brag a little bit about this place. Its located downtown Sacramento, across the street from the capital, and one of the FEW pricey (NICE) places to go for a bite to eat.

Anyways, we did a charity event on Sunday (last night) for 50 lucky people who paid big bucks. All the money raised went to a food bank that had burned down the previous month in Sacramento.

I was flipping out though. The event was being held at “The Kitchen” restaurant. Now for me, “The Kitchen” was like my local celebrity crush (French Laundry is my other). I had gone to school in Sacramento – therefore I had heard all the raves and reviews from my chef instructors. “The Kitchen” was the place to be.

So i dreamily walked through the back door – and into “The Kitchen”‘s…kitchen! Not only did I help prep and plate food for 8 hours, I met some of the biggest names in Sacramento. My chef at E.Restaurant had invited other well-known chefs to join us and create a dish. We had 8 courses going out – including dessert.

My pastry chef is awesome. I love her so much! She is a creative, knowledgeable, spunky, fun, caring, spur-of-the-moment kind of girl. How did I get sooo lucky to be hired by her!? I learned – and am learning – so much.

Our dessert was apple caramel monkey bread with bacon brittle, frangipan-stuffed baked apple, and calvados apple ice-cream. DE.LI.CIOUS.

The night was laid back and fun. It was my first event with the E.crew and I had so much fun!

But..Im still the awkward, shy, quiet girl that stands in the back. I dont know why I still havent loosened up with the E.gang! I’ve been there for about a month now.

My previous job in Napa was at B.Restaurant, and I worked there for about a year and a half. Loved it there! Loved everyone there! Never was shy or awkward. I tell my Napa-friends how I never talk at E.Restaurant and they laugh and can hardly believe it.

Its funny how two different jobs can view a person so differently.

I tell myself it must be because I’m depressed concerning the past events that led up to my job at E.Restaurant.

Uno.

Hi.

Its my first post!  Ack. Lets see how long this blogging thing lasts. Although I LOVE doing things like this, I always forget too.

Ok, lets get deep guys.

I’d like to think of myself as I non-dramatic, laid back, emotionally stable girl. Me the jealous type? Nope!  I would never be stupid enough to like someone who wasnt right for me, right? AND I’m not obsessive, by the way.

Boy was I wrong.

Along comes Mr. S, with all his charm and swagger. Little ‘ol me didn’t even have a chance, guys! I was a goner before I even realized. And whats worse, is the fact that I was in denial. We were “J.F’s”. Nothing more! He didnt like me! I didnt like him! It was all cool.

Denial with a capital D.